your room smells of hookers.
And success
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
