So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
