It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
ugly people sure do ruin things
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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