I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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