She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
