I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
