hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
