So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
