I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
