4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
