I will die if light touches me.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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