I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
