I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
