It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
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