STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
