The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
