Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Your penis caused this!
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