Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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