We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
