Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
