I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
