Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
