smell my finger.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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