I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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