just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
