i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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