tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
