I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want to make out with him forever
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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