weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
