no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
