This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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