All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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