Whod you bang
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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