let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
