So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
