but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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