who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
no you cant smoke seaweed
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
