you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
