I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Alive.
So much puke
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
