Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
