whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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