just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
