I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
