Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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