summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
