STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
