Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'm both gender and math confused
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
