You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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