I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
