Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
