i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
