But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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