I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
