im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
